This film ruled ’09.
Do you sometimes wish you had a ‘recipe’ to create your ideal film? All you need is a simple 1-2-3 list, and then you’ll be rivaling Spielberg? Fear no more. Here at Random Film Buff, we have the perfect blueprints to guide movie lovers in the right direction. Whether it’s hot action flicks or inspiring documentaries, you’ll be making movies in no time.
Recipe: Rom-Com Indie Flick
You Will Need:
1 “cute-nerd” actress (i.e. Zooey Deschanel) OR an rehabilitating actress who needs an non-mainstream movie to boost her public image
1 awkward, lovable guy who’s been spotted in some other small movies OR is part of a cast from a late-night TV show
4-5 characters that play the witty, sarcastic best friends who are here just to provide comic relief
OPTIONAL: 1 embarrassing, sexually liberated Mom
1) In the first scene, establish the fact you will slather “deep” hipster music throughout the film. Ingrid Michaelson or Regina Spektor will do.
2) As a layer, spread the status quo by introducing the audience to the male lead and his friends. Show them having fun (a small house party is preferable. If possible, sprinkle on convenience if the girl’s “wild” best friend somehow knows him through a string of mutual friends and introduces the two future lovers to each other).
3) Once you have stirred the two main characters together, whisk them in a whirlwind romance. Lather on quirky comments that are sure to be quotable after the viewing experience. Include lines of how they love each other’s unique qualities (her odd taste in clothes or piercing blue eyes are popular flavors). Make sure you pour on scenes that make absolutely no sense (Really, why is the most favorite activity with new couples always painting, flirtingly throwing paint on each other?)
4) Toss in a “terrible” problem that threatens the couple’s relationship (if you’re Nicholas Sparks, inflict one of the lovers with some unnecessary disease, like malaria. Don’t believe me? Go see one of his films that are movie adaptations. Actually…don’t do that. That would be torture.) While this is simmering, focus your attention on the supposedly hilarious best friends. Most people enjoy when they conspire together, devising plans to wake the leads back to reality. Another popular spice is to trick both characters into meeting each other. BE CAREFUL HERE. This action often likes to explode, relegating an adorable indie film to straight-to-DVD status. Avoid injecting too much corniness and make sure all levels of quirky, indie music, and odd penis jokes are in check. *
5) By this time, your couple is done cooking (or fuming at each other) and realizes how much they love their significant other. Take off fire and let cool.
To be enjoyed by thousands of lovelorn girls who wish for someone just like (insert main actor’s name here).
*The scene where the unabashed Mother gives embarrassing, but wise relationship advice can be sautéed right here.