Angry Birds and Time Travel and Oh My!

As you know, I’m all about finding the greatest stuff on the Web and showing it with others. Too many times does great stuff go under the radar in the slew of Youtube vids, Tweets, and Facebook Statuses.

As you also know, I love movies and books that surround around time travel. The hilarious video below includes time travel and an amazing plot – exactly my cup of tea.

Check It Out Below:

 

God Bless America

I am ecstatic this movie was made. It proclaims what no other film has dared to even whisper. It’s honest and real and speaks the truth. Simply put, God Bless America is one of the best films of the year. (I guess I should update my Best of 2012 List.)

Meet Frank. He’s miserable. Suck neighbors, suck ex-wife and daughter, suck job, and suck health, all complete with a brain tumor. Frank spends his days hunched over in a pitiful, little cubicle, and his nights scanning the TV, seeing idiots manifested in his living room. Only to see the real life idiots at the water cooler the next morning.

Frank decides suicide is his prescription. During one of his late night TV binges, sticking the gun in his mouth, a bratty teenager from Sweet 16 on his TV shows him the way: kill the idiots, Frank, not yourself.

And Frank listens. He murders the blonde bimbo from his TV, erasing at least one idiot from the world.

Enter Roxy. The 16 year old who’s had enough of the world too.

And the fun doesn’t begin – it explodes. Frank and Roxy go on a killing spree of all the people who deserve to die – obviously, that’s a lot of people.

God Bless America has much going for it: it contains hilarious scenes that ring with realness and tells the underexposed truth about society: the world – America especially – abounds with absurd contradictions, needless cruelty, and never-ending idiots. How did we become like this?

And none of this could have been conveyed without the fantastic performances given by Joel Murray and Tara Lynn. Murray does such a believable job as Frank that his character doesn’t come off as crazy or pathetic. Just fed up. Miss Lynn is great as precocious Roxy, all up to the point we’re rooting for her till the end. With nice twists, great performances that show a coolest father-daughter relationship ever, and a touching ending, God Bless America soars.

And for those who fear this movie is only packed with senseless violence, God Bless America contains much more substance than first glanced at. Get ready to grow a pair and to stomach a movie that holds nothing back.

☆☆☆☆

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

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   Three Steps to See This Movie:

1)      Suspend Reality for 2 Hours

2)      Sit down in your gum-stained seat

3)      And Just Have Fun

 Really. It’s literally that easy. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (abbreviated AB:VH) is what the trailers profess it to be: good ole’ summer fun. And plus, who wouldn’t want to watch Honest Abe slashin’ some bloodsuckers? With spellbinding special effects, nonstop action, and a script that can sometimes elicit laughs, AB:VH is one of the best action flicks of the summer so far.

So, how do you mix the Civil War with fiends of the night, Emancipation Proclamation with hellish monsters, the 16th President with ruthless vampires? Without being overtly idiotic or laughable, Seth Grahame-Smith, who both penned the screenplay and the original novel, handles it with ease. It’s not totally President Lincoln moonlighting as a vampire slayer: as the movie progresses, the vampires become more and more interlocked with Lincoln’s political life. And Grahame-Smith uses the complicated relationship between Lincoln and vampires to his advantage. It’s written in history textbooks everywhere that the Civil War was one of the most difficult battles for the U.S. Why? Well, vampires joining the Confederates side, of course! Why did Lincoln’s son, Willie pass at away at such a young age? A vampire bit him, duh!

And while these plot twists might sound plain stupid, the movie actually suffers from a different set of problems: occasional weak dialogue. Though the 1800’s put a greater value on the art of rhetoric, no one was that witty or that quick and smooth of tongue, or could let eloquent words flow so easily as they stare into the camera, swinging their ax with emotionally charged music pulsating in the background. But perhaps Grahame-Smith and director Timur Bekmambetov let these hilarious segments slip in, as to entertain the audience even more, giving AB:VH a little more specialty.

Abraham Lincoln gets in this whole vampire-killing business anyway in the first place because his mother is murdered by a vampire. As the years past, Lincoln runs into this vampire-bounty hunter of sorts, who trains him and sends him on various missions to kill these demons until he meets his mother’s killer and avenges her death. But along the way, Lincoln, as a backup career if this vampire killing thing doesn’t work out, is already deep into the world of law, fighting to free all slaves (like his recently freed black friend, Will) and has met the love of his life, Mary Todd. With his mother’s murderer dead, and no reason to kill any more, Lincoln hangs up his ax and eventually becomes President. (I wish it was easy as the movie shows.)

But the vampires aren’t done with Lincoln yet: they kill little Willie, cloud up the Civil War by aiding the Confederacy, and begin to ruin the fate of the Union. Old Abe and his killing buds are forced to pick up their weapons again. Regarding actual history, never mind the fact that Lincoln wasn’t wholeheartedly pro-slavery at first or that Mary Todd rejected Abe’s proposal twice. (Or  that vampires, you know, don’t actually exist.)

I told you to suspend reality.

But that’s the fun of it! AL:VH gives the opportunity to experience mind-blowing action and an engaging storyline and amazing special effects, avoiding the mindlessness of Battleship but experiencing the visual brilliance of Snow White and the Huntsman.

The verdict? AL:VH is visually astounding, action-packed, and just plain fun, one of the best movies this summer.

☆☆☆